An Emotional Period Of Time

Things aren't really easy today. The past couple days I haven't been feeling great, and it's probably a mix of all the work I have to do and all the dates that are coming up and events past, present, and future.

My grandfather has cancer, and I found that out today. They're driving up here tomorrow, about 600 km, to visit us before he starts treatment. The prognoses are good so far, though.

Last week or whenever it was, not that long ago anyways, it was one year since one if my closest friends' grandfather died from exactly cancer. That didn't help when my mom told me, and it's really hard to hold my tears back right now.

Tomorrow is my American baby sister's 1st birthday, she was born September 22nd 2009, two and a half months early, but she's a fighter and has been doing great since day one. Tomorrow is also three months exactly since the last time I saw my American family, and I'm really missing them. Gosh, how I wish I could be there with them and celebrate this day with them. I don't think anyone can imagine what it's like, getting to be a part of a family for such a long time, and then one day you leave and you don't know when you'll see them again, and you miss them worse than anything in the time following, unless you actually are the one experiencing it.

NowI really am crying.

Next week it's one year since my great grand aunt died - from cancer. It's all so sad. I don't even remember the last time I saw her, since I was in America when this happened. I just found out that she was buried on my brother's birthday last year, October 7th, a day where I naturally called home when I was in California on vacation, and no one even told me. I didn't know till after I came home to Washington.

Last week I had the first test of the year - history. I don't know how it went and I don't know if I want to know quite yet.

Tomorrow I have another test - social-somethingorother. Am really stressed.

Monday I have a 5 hours Norwegian writing test thingy. A Writing Day, I guess it's called. Not looking forward to it, like at all.

The week after comes with another test - two weeks from today, and it's religion. The Most Unnecessary Subject On Earth In The History Of School. Am I making myself clear on that, now?

The only positive thing in all of this is that not that same weekend but the weekend after, I'm going to Oslo to see Lady Gaga with a bunch of friends. Then I have one week off from school - so-called Autumn Break. That'll be good; I think I need to recover from that weekend in the Capital with Gaga and alcohol and my best friends and my friend from Switzerland whom I haven't seen in forever and don't know when I'll see again after that.

I'm a little scared, because since months before we left America we already knew that we would see each other on the day we were leaving; we were flying together from Chicago to London, and since May we've known that we were going to this concert together. Now I don't know what will happen in the future, other than that I hope he will still remain one of my best friends and that I can go and visit him sometime in the future. Bud nothing's for sure and all we can do is try. I know from experience that effort must be made in order to maintain a friendship where you don't see each other for long periods of time.

Then, the Wednesday after the break, I'll have the biggest test so far - Norwegian from last year when I was in America. I am desperately trying to learn something, but don't know how well that's going.

I'm really stressed right now. I'm not looking for sympathy or anything, I'm just venting. Today and a lot lately really, I haven't felt too great at the end of the day. Or the beginning. Or during. There are moments where everything's great, but they don't last long. My mom saw how it is today. It's not good that I'm feeling like this already, the school year has barely started, and I still have about 9 months to go before I graduate and a lot is happening before then.

I was just reading the book that my American family gave me before I left. It makes me so sad and so happy to see pics from their house and outside area and them and their handwriting and everything....My mom wrote:

[My name]~ First of all...thank you for not making us send you home early! Or breaking our furniture. (bad experience with a former exchange student) We have really enjoyed having you here with us this year, you have been a real joy to have around. We really hope this experience is one you won't ever forget. (how the heck did you expect that to happen?!) Good luck on all the rest of your life's journeys! Love, [their names]

The Norwegian Teenager

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a teenager with thoughts

a teenager with thoughts

19, rland

This is an anonymous blog by a Norwegian teenage girl. I may reveal myself someday, but for now my identity shall remain unknown for those of you who do not already know who I am. I'll explain all of that later. Please leave a comment so I can see you've visited, in whichever language you prefer!