"There Is Nothing Like A Dream To Create The Future" - Victor Hugo

I've thought a lot about dreams lately. I got to live my dream last year, a dream I've had since I was 13. The only dream I've ever had that's been the kind of dream that's kept me going. For 11 months and 3 days I got to live my dream. Then what? I knew I had to finish high school, but what would I do after that?

"No one should negotiate their dreams. Dreams must be free to flee and fly high. No government, no legislature, has a right to limit your dreams. You should never agree to surrender your dreams."
~ Jesse Jackson ~

So I've been reading a lot of quotes about dreaming. And they all say the same: dreams are important. Follow your dreams. Don't let anyone discourage your dreams. Don't let anyone tell you what you're dreams should be. Dare to dream. Dream big. Dream..Dream..Dream..

"Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover."
~ Mark Twain ~

(btw, in the middle of this the fire alarm went off [I'm at school] so I kind of lost where I was going with this, so that's why it might not make sense in the end)

"I have learned, that if one advances confidently in the direction of his dreams, and endeavors to live the life he has imagined, he will meet with a success unexpected in common hours."
~ Henry David Thoreau ~

I can't dream up my future. I need to figure it out. I need to apply for schools in just a couple months!

So dreams dreams, wherever you are,
Come find me tonight under shining stars,
Give me a dream, a reason to live,
So something back to somebody in the end Ican give.
~ The Norwegian Teenager ~

I want to go to Community College and study photography. My dad doesn't want me to. "You can't make a living being a photographer." WhenI was 15 I started writing a story that I neverfinished. The girl in the storyposessed a lot of qualities of mine. Among others, she wanted togo to a photo school. But her parentsdidn't want her to. They didn't seeher talent. Neither do mine. I haven't taken many photos after I got home, and Idon't havethe camera that I want. My hostfamily would understand me, my host mom's dad told her the exact same thing when she wanted to go to Beauty School to become a hair dresser. My host dad was very supportive of me wanting to take a photography class. Heasked meonly a few days ago how my photography was going. I miss them so much right now.

"Every great dream begins with a dreamer. Always remember, you have within you the strength, the patience, and the passion to reach for the stars to change the world."
~ Harriet Tubman ~

What should I do? Do you have any advice on anything at all? What would you do? Please comment below, on "Kommenter"

♥ The Norwegian Teenager

4 Comments

Ida

10.11.2010 kl.19:32

Loved your entry! If anything, it only made me realise even more that I now know wht I want to do next year - Community College -> Photography.

Guess you're pretty aware of what I think is the right thing to do - follow your dreams! As your quote says . you won't regret the things you did, but the things you did not do.

You may not go to school in the same way you would to at an university, but holy crap how many practical, perhaps more important , things you will learn at community college!

One year of your entire life! One year where you can learn about the things you love the most, and get credits for it!

You need to do what's right for you - and not your dad. Okay, maybe it turns out he's right - you can't make a living out of taking pictures. But how would you feel if you in ten years from now, never let yourself try out your dream? People are sitting at Rimi, Rema, Mega, Kiwi, Meny you name it, 'cause they are/were to afraid to follow their dreams. To afraid of failure. But failure's not something to be afraid of. When you fall down, you rise upp again.

I have yet to tell my mom about this choice of mine, and I know she won't be happy for it. She thinks it a waste of time. I need to get a good education, and I need to get it now. I agree on the first part. I have all the time in the world to get my education. Isn't it better if a take a year "off" where I work up study points, than rush into an education which may be wrong for me and cost me a lot of money. My mind is set. My mom can advice me, and I know she will be disappointed in my decision, but this is my life. I am in control of it.

Love you <3

a teenager with thoughts

10.11.2010 kl.20:26

Ida: oh. my. gosh. you just almost made me cry. to quote you: Loved your comment!

but the thing is..i'm scared. i've dreamt and been disappointed before. i know the results of my host mom's choice: her dad cut her off. they don't speak anymore. i've seen her CRY to her aunt because of it! i don't know her dad and i don't know how he has been, and i want to believe that my dad could never do that to me, but how can i be sure?

maybe he's right - that i can't make a living being a photographer. maybe i'm not good enough. maybe i don't have what it takes to make it. maybe i'm just gonna be stuck at home at age 50 taking pictures that no one will ever see. but maybe i need to find that out for sure and not play the guessing game. but maybe i'm scared to know the truth. how many times hasn't the truth been disappointing to me?

i wish i had your confidence. i don't know how to stand up for myself against my parents. well, that's one profession to rule out: i can never be a lawyer. i wish i could just tell them everything that you just wrote down, but i'm weak, don't you see? i'm the good kid, i never do anything wrong, i'm not the person to let people down, especially my parents, i'm just TOO GOOD, like silje said in oslo. maybe my parents, who have always told me how much they love me and that they will always be there for me, who have always said that i can do whatever I want to do with my life, have had plans and hopes for me after all? all those suggestions....it's like they're throwing their wishes at me, hoping i'll have sense enough to choose one of them.

but maybe i'm not such a down to earth, sensable girl who will choose wisely and study hard and then work hard and live like a hard working person. maybe i need to be different, maybe i need to be that weirdo in the family, the one with crazy hair and too colorful eye shadows and too high heels walking around with a camera as if she has no care in this world. ok maybe exaggerating a lil there, but you know what i mean.....

and what if i fail and i can't get up any more times? what if the strenght i'm already lacking, just comes to an end? then what will i do? i'm scared! :'( (and actually crying now......)

"so i stand here,

and i pray for god to see

i just need the strength alone

to do what's best for me"

(secondhand serenade - "you are a drug")

love you too <3

Ida

10.11.2010 kl.21:04

It's not easy for me to cry (but that's another story..) but if i'd been "normal" i'd be crying right now as well. you could say that i'm crying on the inside..

it's sad that it's so hard to follow ones dreams. It does take a lot of strength to fulfill dreams. But i'd like to think that these dreams are the source of strenght. It'll make us fight for them, and when we achieve our dreams and goals, it's worth every single fight to get there. At least that's what I want to believe.

I wasn't aware of the conflict between your host mom and her father. It's sad. and it's something i wouldn't even wish upon my worst enemy. I know how it is not having a father, even though there's a different reason for it. Not having my father here, has been difficult for me. Much worse than i'd ever let you see. However, not having your father here, 'cause he doesn't want contact myst be hell of a lot worse. I can't imagine the pain.

Your right, i do have easy to stand up for myself to my parents. Perhaps to easy. I used to be the good girl too, 'till i realised - it is MY life. I need to make my own choices, nobody knows me as well as myself.

I wish i could give you some of my, as you call it, strength and confidence. I see your problem. It isn't easy. In danger of sounding like the school nurse or something, the best thing you can do is to talk with your dad. think about what you want to say, perhaps write it down if it helps. he needs to understand what you're thinking. I'm sure your dad loves you, and only wants what's best for you. Maybe he just needs to realise that what's best for you, is something entirely different than what was best for him.

I know it's not easy, and if i could, i would do it for you. but i can't...

Maybe you should angle it a little different, when you're confronting your dad. In stead of saying: "i'm going to community college to be a photographer" you could say something like: "i want to find out if this is something i can make work for me, to see if it is something i can make a living of. and in the mean time, i will have purchased two study points, and it looks good on the cv." 'cause that's true. A lot of employers appreciates a year of community college.

I don't know what else to say, Julie. Otherwise, than that i'm here for you. If there is something i can do to make this easier for you, please let me know <3

a teenager with thoughts

10.11.2010 kl.21:58

Ida: a year and a half ago, i would've said the same thing. i wasn't always this visibly emotional. i've been an emotional wreck ever since i went to america. but i needed that year, i needed it to feel complete. or so i thought. now there's a somewhat empty space there. but at least i know what it feels like, i know what's there, and i won't have to wonder what that empty feeling is 5-10-20-50 years from now.

that secont paragraph of yours was really beautiful. i somewhat want to put it on my status :p i'm a facebook slut, ain't i? ;-/

i don't know what it's like not to have a father. i don't know what it's like not having one because he's not alive, i don't know what it's like not having one because he didn't want you, i just don't know. but i know the importance of having a father. i've always been a daddy's girl, and when i was in america i almost missed him more than my mom sometimes. it's not that she's not important in my life, of course she is, she's my mother, but my dad is always taking care of me, always helping me, always everything. i've always been able to trust him when i need him. i even wrote an essay about it, where we were supposed to write about our role model or someone we'd like to be, smth like that..i can't imagine what it's like not having a father. but i know the importance of having one.

sometimes, i feel like i'm so strong. sometimes i feel so weak. i can stand up to any bully at school now; i used not to. i don't know how that changed. i don't know what i can do to trigger that change once more. song like "it's my life" by bon jovi and "lass mich los" ("set me free" but the german version is better) by lafee want me to be able to live like that, but it's easier said than done.

maybe you're right. but where do i find the courage to do so?

i know. thanks though (:

<3

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a teenager with thoughts

a teenager with thoughts

19, rland

This is an anonymous blog by a Norwegian teenage girl. I may reveal myself someday, but for now my identity shall remain unknown for those of you who do not already know who I am. I'll explain all of that later. Please leave a comment so I can see you've visited, in whichever language you prefer!

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