I know, I will never let you go...

Exactly one year ago, on the evening of the 23rd of June, 2010, I was sitting awake like I am doing now. Why, you may ask? Because I had just arrived in Norway after leaving life as I knew it back in America. It's a heartbreaking feeling, to leave what feels like all you've ever known, just like that. I remember I thought that going from Norway to America was the natural continuation, the natural path for my life to walk, but it didn't feel natural to return, because I thought everything and everyone expected everything to continue as it had before I left. I knew it wouldn't. I had changed too much for that to be the reality.

It wasn't the reality. I had changed too much for that to happen. My family had changed; however, my friends had changed even more. And they were probably the ones who relied the most upon me being the same. For some time it felt like they expected me to be adaptable, that I would just simply have to adapt to the situation as it was, as I was the one who hadn't been there the past year. What can I say, we've had our disputes. We love each other. And some days we can't stand one another. But we're friends. And now we are no longer high school friends. We graduated yesterday. On the day that I left America. Can you believe that...

I know a lot of people don't understand my love for America. I've said it before, and I do not mind repeating myself: You won't understand it without going there for yourself. I've never felt complete living in this country. I'm not saying I'm too good for this place, it's just not me, you know? It's like Billy Ray Cyrus sang in "Ready, Set, Don't Go": She's gotta do what she's gotta do, and I've gotta like it or not. She's got dreams too big for this town, and she needs to give them a shot. And like Miley anwered in their duet version:I'm at the starting line of the rest of my life, as ready as I've ever been. Got the hunger and the stars in my eyes, the prize is mine to win.

I dedicated this duet version to my parents when I left. I wrote them a long letter with the URL to a playlist with three songs for them, "Ready, Set, Don't Go", "Butterly, Fly Away", and "I Learned From You" - all being Miley & Billy Ray's songs.

I'm trying not to let this blog entry turn into a long I-don't-know-what-to-do-with-my-life-now entry, but I can tell it's already gotten a head start in that direction...

My point is... I lived almost 17 years of my life in Norway, the country where I was born, and the last four of them felt half empty because something was missing. I went to America, trying to find that missing part. And I indeed did. A beautiful country, with wonderful people, gorgeous nature, stunningbuildings;breathtaking, that is what The United States of America is to me. But now, one year after my return, I believe I left the missing piece in that country as well, for indeed I do miss it. I'll quote Secondhand Serenade and say,

I know, I'll never let you go.

♥ The Norwegian Teenager

One Comment


24.06.2011 kl.09:25

Sv: Ja, jeg ser du er veldig Csar gal :D

Men jeg liker det s absolutt :D

Tell me something nice!

No blog promoting, please! And this includes comments to get comments, gosh, do I need to feed it to you with a tea spoon?! Spam will be deleted.

a teenager with thoughts

a teenager with thoughts

19, rland

This is an anonymous blog by a Norwegian teenage girl. I may reveal myself someday, but for now my identity shall remain unknown for those of you who do not already know who I am. I'll explain all of that later. Please leave a comment so I can see you've visited, in whichever language you prefer!