You Know You've Been in Norway Too Long When...

Out of nowhere, last night, I remembered this thing that I wrote about on my MySpace page (yeah, actually!) my first year of high school. The reason? There were five things listed in my school book, so naturally I had to google some more. So here they are,

You know you've been in Norway too long when...

...You associate warm rice porridge with Saturday and X-mas eve. 
...It seems sensible that the age limit at Oslo night clubs is 23 or 25. 
...You find yourself debating the politics of Torbjørn Jagland. 
...You think there is no such thing as bad weather, only bad clothing. 
...It seems nice to spend a week in a small wooden cottage up in the mountains, with no running water and no electricity. 
...You think cross-country skiing is the only *real* skiing. 
...You know at least five different words describing different kinds of snow. 
...The first thing you do on entering a bank/post office/pharmacy etc. is look for the queue number machine. 
...You accept that you will have to queue to take a queue number. 
...A sharp intake of breath has become part of your active vocabulary. 
...You associate Friday afternoon with a trip to Vinmonopolet (State wine monopoly). 
...You think nothing of paying 50 NOK for a bottle of 'cheap' spirits at Vinmonopolet. (US$1,- = NOK 5.80) 
...Your native language has seriously deteriorated; you "eat medicine" and "go and lay yourself". 
...You rummage through your plastic bottles collection to see which ones you should keep to take to the store and which can be sacrificed to the recycle center. 
...It's acceptable to eat lunch at 11.00 and dinner at 15.00. 
...Your front door step is beginning to resemble a shoe shop. 
...When a stranger on the street smiles at you, you assume that: 
   - he is drunk; 
   - he is insane; 
   - he is American; 
   - he is all of the above. 
...Silence is fun. (!!!) 
...The reason you take the ferry to Denmark is: 
   - duty free vodka 
   - duty free beer 
   - to party 
...The only reason for getting off the boat in Copenhagen is to eat pizza. 
...It no longer seems excessive to spend 500 NOK on alcohol in a single night. 
...You care who wins the "Hvem fanger sommerens største fisk" contest ("who catches the biggest fish of the summer"). 
...Your old habit of being "fashionably late" is no longer acceptable, you're always on time.  
...You know that "religious holiday" means "let's get pissed". 
...You enjoy the taste of lutefisk. 
...You use "mmmm" as a conversation filler. 
...An outside temperature of 9 degrees Celsius is mild (in mid June). 
...You wear sandals with socks. 
...You have only two facial expressions, smiling or blank. 
...You think riding a racing bike in the snow is a perfectly sensible thing to do (with or without snowtires). 
...You don't mind paying the same for a 200 meter bus ride as you do for going 10 kms. 
...You have more than one scarf. 
...You have more than one hat and at least one of them has earflaps. 
...You know the difference between Blue and Red ski wax. 
...You don't fall over when walking on ice. 
...You always prepare to catch the closing door if following too closely behind somebody. 
...You know the rules to handball. 
...You can prepare fish in five different ways without cooking it. 
...You know Norway's results the last three years in the "Eurovision Song Contest". 
...You start to believe that if it wasn't for Norway's efforts the world would probably collapse soon. 
...You find yourself speaking halfway Swedish with Swedes. 
...You don't question the habit of always making "matpakke". 
...Traditional dinners may not necessarily mean a cooked meal. 
...You will leave a pub if you can't find a seat. 
...You believe that having no choice of products in a supermarket makes it easier to shop. 
...You know that the meaning of life has something to do with the word "koselig". 

Have YOU been in Norway too long?

♥ The Norwegian Teenager

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a teenager with thoughts ©

a teenager with thoughts ©

19, Ørland

This is an anonymous blog by a Norwegian teenage girl. I may reveal myself someday, but for now my identity shall remain unknown for those of you who do not already know who I am. I'll explain all of that later. Please leave a comment so I can see you've visited, in whichever language you prefer!