Going Home - A Personal Letter
These past two weeks have been a huge mess consisting of packing, tears, food, sleep, trips, welcomes, and goodbyes. Yesterday we got our diplomas, and when we were singing a song which title translates to Butterfly in Winterland, it really hit me that we were leaving; my butterfly was leaving the winterland, returning to the summer and heat in Kenya, Africa, after spending the past 8 months and 8 days in Norway, the Winter Wonderland.
I know exactly the feeling of going home after a year in a foireign country on a foreign continent, where the people are all foreigners who speak another language. I know exactly what my boyfriend went through this day, and what he'll go through the upcoming couple. I've been there. I've done it. With the one exception that I wasn't leaving my boyfriend/girlfrien - that feeling I got to experience today as well. On June 22nd, 2010, I left Lake Stevens, WA, USA, and the following day I arrived back home. I know the feeling. The culture shock you get from returning to your own country, even though you thouhgt nothing had changed, and it in fact hasn't changed all that much, but you have.
I started writing a blog about it, because I had no one else to talk to. Well, of course I had friends to talk to, but I always felt it was easier to write. I hope my darling dear will talk and write to me about how it was to return to Kenya, seeing as I was there more recent than him, fell in love with the country he's from, and intend to return at my first opportunity.
My Lovely One,
These past couple of weeks have not been the best of the time we've spent together. We've both been stressed, sad, and angry, and it has caused us to quarrel from time to time. But that's what couples do, right? A wise man once said that if couples don't have disputes, they don't really love each other, and they probably never will.
The best of times I had in Soltun were times spent with you. We've been together almost every day since October, and that's only a month after you arrived at school. I consider myself the luckiest 19-year-old in Norway, having gotten to spend these moments with you. They have changed the course of my life, and I wouldn't want it any other way. I wasn't looking for someone to change my relationship status. I was looking for someone to change my life, and me, for the better. And you bring out the best in me.
I think I must be in some kind of shock at the time being; I have almost not cried today. Only a couple of tears at school, a little during a couple of sad songs on a CD we played in the car, and when I arrived at home and I realized that this time I'm going to unpack my bags because I'm not going back in a week or three. Within the next few days it will probably hit me, though, what seems next to impossible right now: That you're somewhere high above the ground in north-eastern Africa, and will be landing in Nairobi in a couple of hours.
Tonight will be the coldest night in a long time, as I will be sleeping in a small bed and alone. I'm so used to spending my nights with you now, I'll probably end up turning around expecting to touch your chest or see your face when I open my eyes. We both know that these first nights will be sad and lonely. But as they say, it has to get worse before it can get better. We'll get used to it, somewhat. And sooner than we know it, we'll be together again, one way or other, somewhere. Suddenly!
You mean the world to me, and I don't ever want to lose you. It feels like I've been waiting a long time for you to come around, and I won't let you go now. I'll fight for you, because I know it will be worth it. You are worth fighting for.
All of my love, with all of my heart, and sincerely yours
♥ The Norwegian Teenager