I've always heard every ending is also a beginning, we just don't know it at the time. I'd like to believe that's true.
Ok, let's talk long distance relationships for a while. As you probably know, I am currently in one, and my chosen one is a guy three years older than me from Kenya. Some people were supprised, but my parents are ok with it and hey, you don't choose who you fall in love with, right?
Nobody said it was easy
No one ever said it would be this hard
My boyfriend and I, we've been together since the beginning of December, that's closing up on eight months now, but we haven't seen each other for the past almost three. It's been no walk in the park, but it hasn't been too hard, either. Until now. We did spend seven weeks apart earlier this year, when we were on (different) school trips with our classes - I with photo, he with international. We sent a few texts but that's all. Now we've had facebook and mail, and we've managed to skype a few times, but that's a little difficult since he doesn't really have a steady internet connection. I text him, but he only answers occasionaly since it costs much more for him than what I pay. So we stick to facebook, mostly. And emails.
I've been staring at this page for minutes now, without knowing how to proceed...
If there was a movie about you, it would be called I Am Overthinking This.
- Marnie, My Name Is Memory
I have been starting to feel doubts lately. Don't get me wrong, I really do love my boyfriend, and I know that he loves me, but we're closing in on eight months. I've never had a relationship lasting more than eight months before. My last relationship was almost eight months on the day. He broke up with me in mid August last year, only ten days before I moved and when I was in the middle of a packing process. Now I'm in a packing process again, and I'm moving very soon. College starts in the middle of August. I just really want to make it through eight months. I don't want to lose this love that I have right now, and I don't think I could face another year of starting school with a broken heart, to doze through the packing and the beginning of what's supposed to be a wonderful time of my life.
These past years have all been different for me. Not like elementary and middle school where I knew the teachers and I knew the class mates and pretty much knew what would happen. In 2008 I started high school here in Norway. In 2009 I went on a student exchange to America and spent one year as high school student there. Then I returned to Norway, and in 2010 begun my senior year. And seriously, I hardly spoke my own language by that time! 2011 I started community college, or folk high school as some call it here. And now, in 2012, I'm beginning my life as a university student. My life has no consistency whatsoever. It's like ADD or something, I can never stay still in one place for too long at a time.
I find the map and draw a straight line
Over rivers, farms, and state lines
The distance from here to where you'd be
It's only finger-lengths that I see
I'm miles from where you are
I lay down on the cold ground
And I, I pray that something picks me up
And sets me down in your warm arms
- Snow Patrol
My boyfriend texted me earlier this evening, "Hey darling, can you be available on chat tomorrow at 9am? I so much wanna talk to you <3". Quite simple, right? Nothing fishy about that? Just an ordinary text from a man who wants to talk to his woman. Right? So would somebody please tell me why my stomach turned into knots, my throat tightened, and my head went light and fuzzy?
So I did what I always do: Went for a walk to clear my head. Put on comfortable clothes, in this case his navy blue hoodie. Made myself a cup of tea. Dimmed the light in my bedroom and sat down on the floor. Put on some music. Started writing. Trust me, it works. Always.
I love you
I've loved you all along
And I miss you
Been far away from far too long
I keep dreaming you'll be with me and you'll never go
I'll stop breating if I don't see you anymore
Something you might not know about me, is that I've been raised in a military family. My father's been in the army since the year he turned 18, that's nearly 30 years. And you know we have an expression, right?
There's strong. And then there's army strong.
It doesn't mean that army people are stronger than other people. It's all about attitude. You set your mind on a goal, you work hard, and you achieve it. That's what we call army strong. And in this case, my goal isn't something, but someone. I'm going to work hard to keep him, and I'm not going to fail at it. That's my attitude.
You think your days are uneventful
That no one ever thinks about you
She goes her own way, she goes her own way
You think your days are ordinary
That no one ever thinks about you
But we are all the same
And she can hardly breathe without you
I was looking for a photograph from weheartit.com to insert here, but everything was too much of a cliché... Until I found this:
It's the latter part that made me like it, for two reasons:
1. When we make it past the 4.5 months mark, we're less likely to break up than ever!
2. 60% of LDRs work out!
♥ The Norwegian Teenager